I heard the Lord telling me it was time to come out of hiding. It was time to step forward into the next thing He has for me. That He would go with me.
"Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me." Psalm 139:7-10
I remember these visions I've had. I remember stepping forward from the darkness as my eyes had adjusted. I stepped down into the presence of the Lord and His glory shining around me left me blinded. I had to take the Lords hands. He was leading me one step at a time into my future. Then suddenly took my left hand and place it into someone else's. We were walking together then, hand in hand, with the Lord leading us by one hand and walking together with the other. I was so convinced at the time that it was my ex.
But as I am starting to understand what real hope looks like, I see that my hope is the direction that I am going. My hope is the way I am walking. My hope is my path before me. The path before me is the Lord. My hope can't be in a man. Whether my hope is for that man to be saved and restored or whether my hope is for a different love in my life, my hope can not be found in another person. My hope has to be in my walk with the Lord, forward, in the path He has set before me. One step at a time behind him.
Once I've set my mind to who I am walking for, the Lord, suddenly he pours out blessing over my life. Suddenly, I'm not holding onto the past anymore. The pain and the struggle is gone. Instead, it's been replaced with genuine love and trust and a real hope for my future. Thank you God for taking me out of Hiding Place.
Isaiah 43:19 "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."
I stepped away from the hope for a promise to be filled. I stepped away and I stepped into God's path. I am walking on His path towards wherever He is going. I may not know which way we go, but He knows and I trust Him.
And the beautiful thing about God is that not only does He want us to walk in trust and hope of Him, but when we do, we open our hands and allow him to pour all of the blessing He wants to give us into our hands. I walked away from the hope for restoration. I wasn't walking away from this man to walk to another one. That wasn't my plan. I walked away from this hope for restoration and into the path that God asked me to step into. My ministry. My calling in life. I am walking towards Him and His feet are leading me one step at a time in the path towards him. And as I obey, His hand opens and pours out blessing, protection, joy, fresh desire and new hope. Blessing upon blessing that I never expected or could have imagined.
Psalm 40:1-3 "I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him."
This beautiful thing from God suddenly showed up. As I am walking on this path toward the Lord, suddenly someone is on the same path with me. I look up and I see him standing there next to me. His head is also hung low and his eyes are streaked with crying so many tears. I ask him his story and he tells me a familiar one. It is a story I've gone through myself. I keep my head down, looking at just the foot in front of me and the next, but then I see him smiling. Then I am smiling. Before you know it, we're both walking forward, heads lifting up to see a little further in front of us, and we're both smiling. Then we're laughing and still walking. Always keeping our eyes on the path before us. Always keeping our hearts focused on Him, but suddenly enjoying the company of another. Someone that has real understanding of who I am, who He is, and what we've both been through. Somehow, God has softened my heart to the idea. Somehow, this hope has begun to build. It wasn't something I expected. It definitely wasn't something I orchestrated or even considered. I was focused and fixed on the way I was going, my plan was set, and that path did not leave room for any hope for a different future. I was ready to die alone if necessary in my stand. God saw my heart though and the desires in it, and I know He wants best for me. I don't know what God has in store for this relationship, but I know God orchestrated our paths crossing on this journey towards Him. I didn't have to step outside of the will of God to find him. He is walking on the same path towards Christ as me. I didn't have to orchestrate a meeting or pursue him or arrange plans. God dropped him into my lap. And I am grateful. My cup overflows. There is a new season before me and a new hope in my heart.
Matthew 6:33 "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
Psalm 37:4 "Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart."
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