The Answer to Anxiety

The anxiety has been so heavy recently, shouting at me like thunder in a lightning storm. Why God? I put on my worship for the first time what seems like weeks. I quiet my spirit and I clear away the distractions. I put my face right in front of His and I ask Him. Why God? Why this heavy, dark cloud of anxiety?

“Where have you been?” His answer is arresting and convicting and gentle and kind and loving and sincere all in one breath. “Who are you?”

And I remember now. I am not a single mom. Some strong pillar, standing out in the storm alone. If I am a single mom, then where is God? If I am alone in this, then I will be alone in this. Like a lightning rod, standing out in the rumbling of that thunder storm. No wonder I am terrified! No wonder I am troubled! No wonder! When you stand alone, and you forget who He is. No, I am not alone. I am not a single mom.

I am a daughter of the King. I am a daughter of Yahweh. Yahweh, the breath of my lungs breath in and out His name. His name is written on my DNA. He made me and then His blood paid for me too. I am His! I am His daughter, his beloved child. Instead of standing like a lone lightning rod in the anxiety storm, I need to get up under His umbrella.

As a lone pillar, I elevate myself. I tell the world to look at me. Look how strong I am. I am single parent woman hear me roar! I am so powerful! And I will be struck by the lightning. Pride comes before destruction. A haughty spirit comes before a fall. I cry out to the world to watch me and the world does. My strength comes from my viewers and my viewers are fickle and will tear down my pillar or laugh as I am struck down.

But the humility under His wings. The protection under his umbrella is so humbling. Who can see you under an umbrella? Hunched over, covered, and staring down at your feet. You can’t even really see where you are going. One step at a time. That’s all I can really see. Except You are holding the umbrella. I can see You. I can look into Your eyes and see Your smile. You are pleased with me. It is not the world’s way. I am humbled. I am low. I am slow moving. But I am safe in the storm. It will not touch me. I am safe, walking where you walk. You are my protection.

The answer to anxiety is Jesus. Stop looking to the world for support. Just go back to Jesus.