Forgiveness

I had to learn to forgive terrible abuse and betrayal 10 years ago. It was so painful and honestly thinking intimately about it can still make me cry for my old self. Thank you God who allows those unwanted seasons into our lives, because it does so many beautiful things. First and foremost, it draws us deep into the arms of our first love. God became the central focus of my family in that heart wrenching season. He took His place on the thrones of our hearts and nothing has ever sat down in His place since. Secondly, it shows us Gods goodness in tangible ways and opens up His Word in incredible depth of truth and understanding. We walk intimately with him and we hear his voice. These seasons become pillars of fire in front of us and looking back, they are memorials reminding us of how awesome and wonderful God is. Third, it realigns our perspective so that we can see our lives right. All men are like grass and all their glories are like the flowers of the fields. The grass withers and the flowers fall but the Word of the Lord endures forever. In this season, we remember that if we received what we actually deserved, we would have death. Every little thing we have in our lives, from the roof over our heads and the family under it with us, down to the clothes on our back and the food in our fridge, down to the breath in our lungs and the sunshine in the morning, is all a gift from God. We are blessed by a Father who loves us. And He wants to fill our lives with blessings. Fourth, it reminds us of how great His love for us is. We deserve death, but God gave us life and abundant life instead. If Jesus could forgive us for murdering him in the most brutal way imaginable, we can forgive our brothers and sisters for much less. I know in the season, it does not feel like anything little to do that. But we will in this season, learn to extend the forgiveness that we received, undeserved as it was, to those who harmed us, undeserved as it is. Forgiveness is not for them. I did not call up my abusive ex husband and tell him I had forgiven him one day. We don’t move into forgiveness, because we care for those who harmed us. We move into forgiveness, because God cannot fills hands that are already full. If I am carrying my hurt and my hatred, I cannot have those first 3 things. I cannot take Gods hand and walk intimately with Him, because my hands are filled with hate. I cannot hear his Words and gain his wisdom if I am not drawing close to Him and holding his hand. And I cannot have His good gifts poured out into my arms, when my arms are filled up with bitterness and unforgiveness. For our sakes we forgive.