Read this article! I am just elaborating from my experience on what this author has already said. You Do Everything. Kiss every boo boo, while cooking dinner and cleaning a mess that just exploded. Work so hard your brain dead before the kids are even finished with school, then have to come up with ways to convince them to do their homework. Every outfit, every parent teacher conference, every dentist visit, every kids birthday, every new pair of shoes and going up to the next size, every please clean this room again, every battle, every tear, every smile, every laugh. Every time the toilet or the water heater or the sink or the fence or the furnace breaks. Every time the hoa or the post office or the unexpected bill or the fussing neighbor. Every spurt of energy and the lets just get out of the house and do something. Every idea, every memory, every moment. Every monster under the bed, the bump in the nights, and the come sleep with me's. It's all mine and it's all work. It's all work and it's worth it.
I watch these kids grow up way too fast, take on way more responsibility then I think kids this age should, and smile with pride when they do well at it. Tonight we learned to cook "cowboy eggs". All of us together did that. And we made cookie ice cream sandwiches for desert. And we had a picnic in the living room for dinner, because I don't feel like clearing off the table. We do the best we can. What else can I do? It's all mine and it's all work. It's all work and it's worth it.
Privacy, what is that? I never sleep alone. 24/7/365. Literally, God gave me two ears to hear two conversations happening at the same time from two different kids mouths. And trust me, they cry if you didn't hear them. But it's so cute to hear their amazing stories. They really have some excellent thoughts in their little heads. I don't think they realize that I sleep. Too many times, I've woken up to a kid standing beside my bed, mid-sentence. Typically it's a demand. "Mom, I'm starving. Can you make me breakfast?" is my favorite. It's all mine and it's work. It's all work and it's worth it.
It would be nice to have someone to share the moments with. You know, that moment when your spouse is playing with the kids and you're supposed to be having some very needed alone time, but all you can do is stand in the door way and watch and smile? I miss those moments. I miss enjoying my spouse enjoying my kids. I miss being able to share the funny stories and having him enjoy those with me. Even having someone to help make a decision. Someone to bounce an idea off of. Someone to sit with the kids so you can run to the store for that one stupid thing you forgot to pick up. It also makes me really sad for him, because wow. He is missing out on the greatest blessing of his life. Yeah, they're totally work! But Wow! They are just the best people in the world. They're so sweet, so funny, so innocent, so loving, so kind, so considerate. They are the best thing that ever happened to me. I get so sad for him when I realize what he is missing out on. All the late night cuddles, the laughs and smiles. All the amazing moments of the day. The sledding in the backyard. Pushing them on the swing at the park. Taking walks around the neighborhood. Playing video games or making popcorn and watching movies together. My kids and I have become experts of improvise. We may not have all the fancy stuff, but we have all that we need, thank you God! It might be lonely, but it's less lonely with your babies. It's all mine and it's work. It's all work and it's worth it.
Your body might ache all the time. You might not know where the next bit of strength will come from. You know you yell too much and you cry too much and you don't get it right far too often. But then you see them do something really spectacular and you think "Wow! God, I'm screwing this up and you're making beauty out of all of it!" It's hard. It's every bit of work I've ever done in all of my life rolled up into two little lives. I thought going through my divorce was hard and it was, but this is long-haul hard. I can't sugar coat it. I know what it was like to have a practically non-existent spouse who hardly helped me with the kids, but it was still more help then a single mom gets. Yeah, this is the hardest thing and it's growing me. I didn't want this, didn't plan for it, and it is stretching me and definitely one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, and it is probably the best thing I've ever done with my life. It's so hard. It's so much work. It's so worth it.
Comments