God, it is hard to look at his life (my ex/kids dad). They (he and his new wife) genuinely look cute together and he says how much he loves her and he smiles. They look happy together. He was never happy with me. She doesn't look so happy with him though. But he never smiled in pictures with me. I know there was trouble in paradise around October 2023, when the harassment of me and the kids started. By February 2024 it was winding down and stopped now. I just found out that they went on a cruise around that time. It does make me wonder if something happened and that was his way of trying to make up. It's so funny to me that he still uses all the same tactics that he and I worked out together. He moved to the same neighborhood that we used to live in. He didn't want to go on a cruise, but when I took us on one, now he loves them. He had never travelled before he met me, now he takes her all over the world. But I am not jealous. I do think they are cute together. What what I would love to see most is justice. How does a man who abuses his wife and 2 beautiful children, cheat and cheat and cheat, emotionally and mentally manipulate, domestic violence, and then abandon his family, and start over with another woman like nothing happened? I guess the same way he abandoned his first girlfriend and their daughter too. It's wicked. There's demonic forces behind it. He's so far gone from you. Thank you Lord that You have put him so far gone from us too!
I started to think how hard it is to fight the uphill battle caring for my kids and our lives alone and then You cut me off and made me laugh. I am not alone! You are my husband and my kids dad and you are far better then anything we could ask for or imagine! You always provide, always love, always care, you're always there. You are NEVER far gone!
And then you made me realize all the pleasures of this word...this is as close to Heaven as he (my ex/kids dad) can get. This is as far from Heaven as me and my kids will ever get. I know where I am going when my life is finished or when Jesus comes back. And I unfortunately know where he is going too. He is SO far fone.
I pray that isn't the case, but if there is no repentence, no asking for grace and mercy and accepting your free gift of salvation, there's no chance! You're the only way! So let him live up this life to the best of his abilities, because hopefully digging himself deep down into the mud of the pig pen will make him realize this life is not worth living without you. It's terrible and sad! To believe you are saved, but live as if you aren't. It's the parable of the virgins. Half saved, and half only believing they were. They were so far gone. He thinks he knows Jesus, but he lives like a man of the world. He's abusive, a liar, a cheater. He's harmful, but he plasters a smile on his face and says "Amen" and fools everyone. But God You are good and you are just. You love me and my kids TRULY and your plan is for our good.
I can sit back down in the pig pen saying "It's not right. Why does he love her but he never loved me?" Simple. He's a pig. She's a pig. I am not a pig. I am a queen; the bride of Christ. I am loved by a far better husband; the best in fact. The only reason to ever look back is to see how far I have come. That old life I lived is SO far gone!
Matthew 25:1-13
“At that time the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any oil with them. The wise ones, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps. The bridegroom was a long time in coming, and they all became drowsy and fell asleep.
“At midnight the cry rang out: ‘Here’s the bridegroom! Come out to meet him!’
“Then all the virgins woke up and trimmed their lamps. The foolish ones said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil; our lamps are going out.’
“‘No,’ they replied, ‘there may not be enough for both us and you. Instead, go to those who sell oil and buy some for yourselves.’
“But while they were on their way to buy the oil, the bridegroom arrived. The virgins who were ready went in with him to the wedding banquet. And the door was shut.
“Later the others also came. ‘Lord, Lord,’ they said, ‘open the door for us!’
“But he replied, ‘Truly I tell you, I don’t know you.’
“Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour.
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